daisy_2405

Ok I can't concentrate. I'm really disappointed I let myself down and others. I am genuinely feeling sick. Ugh I'm so desperate now and anxious like i don't know what to do. I feel like just walking out and going for a long walk but I'm cold. I'm honestly beginning to panic I know i should calm down but this is really bothering me. I'm so jittery now.

I feel really bad today. I feel sick. I ate too much this evening and I'm honestly not feeling well. I wanted to go out with my friends but they had all made plans and some didn't even answer the phone. I felt rejected and pissed the fuck off. I really do have a stomachache though and it is so bothersome. I feel guilty and depressed. I'm just not feeling well. Ugh I feel like puking.

Ugh I'm feeling anxious today. I just want to go to bed. I hardly ate today. I think I had about 300 cals I'm just not hungry. Haven't been this whole week. I'm still not sleeping well. I feel a bit overwhelmed and I feel like my body aches and I'm so cold 24/7. Since I haven't been eating well for about 2 weeks I feel like I'm losing weight rapidly my sister noticed and asked why I haven't been eating but of course what could I say other than I dont have much of an appetite. I do try to eat my I physically and emotionally can't. I live on coffee though.

I feel a bit sick after I eat though and I keep getting headaches it may be my lack of sleep I think.

I felt good this morning but then suddenly I got so anxious and panicky I tried calming myself without my meds as I am running low. I try to concentrate on other things and then I start to cry. Oh well. I've got to keep going I suppose.

It's beginning to get late and I was hoping to get to bed early. I will still try to sleep earlier than 2am as I have been doing. I have to study though, I've a quiz tomorrow. This shit is driving me crazy though.

I told my sister I would hang out with her tonight but it's so late and I feel like I broke my promise, she was looking forward to it as she suspects something is the matter with me. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. I hate breaking promises and I cried because of it. I know she worries for me and it's the last I want of her.

Eh, I'm exhausted and cold. It's been a long day as usual.

My best friend asked me if I had OCD. I have no idea whether I am though but I am a perfectionist. That bothered me. Whatever though.

Ugh, I have a stomach ache and just had an anxiety attack when I cried but I have to pull through because it's really not all that unusual.

Well back to work. =(

Ugh I've got so much homework but I can't concentrate. I don't want to do shit other than sleep. I've been going to sleep pretty late now. I'm sort of a perfectionist so everything must be done right especially when it comes to school. Yet, I'm a mess. Ugh.....

I've been crying a lot lately. I haven't been eating much I just don't want any part of it. I've been cutting myself more. My therapist is getting worried for me as I told her that I question my very existence and that I didn't care what happens to me. She now wants me to make an appointment with a psychiatrist so that he can prescribe me a stronger dosage of medication. Eh, don't know what to do but I'm certainly frustrated and I do feel worthless.

Ok so all day I have been sitting in my computer room trying to do homework but no luck. It's so hard to concentrate. I keep crying. I worry about what I have eaten. I journal what I eat and lately I haven't been eating much yesterday I actually did eat because there was a baby shower and my family was present so I had to eat. That night I cut myself and I was bleeding a lot. It's weird.

I take meds, i go to a nutritionist who only seems to feel pity for me, she's nice though, and I also meet with a therapist once a week. She's cool but ultimately no help i keep getting worse. I cry every day sometimes I want to cry in the middle of class and I cry often times at work. I'm cutting myself almost everyday day now.

No one in my family knows my problem ED-NOS, depression, anxiety and panic attacks and cutting. My sister saw scars though i think she has an idea that I cut myself. Oh well.

I'm supposed to be doing homework but I think I'll be here a while. Ugh!

I'm sort of new here and I don't know how all this works. I want to make new friends on here and talk about some of these issues particularly because I think we have some of them in common.